Friday, February 2, 2007

Keep to the code

So, for half of you, this will make perfect sense. For the other half, this will seem quite absurd.

In mens bathrooms, there is an unspoken code. It doesn't really apply to stalls with toilets, as you're assured of your privacy and the hardest part is to find a clean one. Urinals however, are a drastically different situation. Say there's 6 of them, right next to each other with no barriers between. If they're numbered left to right (1-6), #'s 1 and 6 will always be the first to be occupied. At this point the problem becomes clear for the next 2 patrons. The third person will automatically go to #3 (or 4, but for the sake of argument we'll use 3), but that fourth guy is in a real bind. Only urinals # 2, 4 and 5 are open, so if he doesn't want to wait, he has to stand next to someone. At that point, the stalls come into play. If all are occupied, the guy has to ask himself how bad he really has to go. While he's thinking about it, (to make the situation more cruel) another dude will undoubtedly show up. This is when lines form; even though enough urinals exist for everyone, only some will be in use. And not that there's anything wrong with that. Some guys get stage fright and like to have their privacy, and don't want some dude snuggling up to them while they take a leak.

The moral of the story: Get to the bathroom first, or go at home.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Make it Stop

So, I'm sitting here in my Cultural Anthropology class waiting for it to start. All of the sudden, I'm reminded of why I don't like school, and what's making me so bitter. Watching everyone file in, sizing up each person to see if They're the one that will drive me insane all semester. Yes, this is bloody Anthro 2. If you're IN the right room at the right time, it'll be the right class. No need to try and introduce yourself to everyone in some sort of "Hi, I'm not sure if I know how to read a sign, how to follow my schedule, but really, I'm smarter than I look". Yeah, great first impression.

Speaking of great first impressions, a girl (specifically a GIRL) next to me is reading Barack Obama's second book. That's cool and all, but she obviously brought it today just to show off. Just like the very punk/rebel dressed dude in front of her is reading Marx's "Das Kapital". People think they're so damn smart. Yes, I'm quite happy here playing Tetris on my phone and ridiculing all you people silently.

Then there's the dude in front of me. He says hello to everyone he knows, like he's some sort of social butterfly. He then says 'Present' during roll call, with a little quirky smile and giggle. Sit your ass down, shut up, and when the teacher says your name, you say "Here." and that's all. No attitude, no attempt at sophistication, which is clearly failing as the stench of the 5$ cologne you're wearing is starting to give me a damn headache, and your stretching is CLEARLY violating my personal bubble. Asshole.

When will it end?