Keep to the Code Part II

Not that I'm really into sequels, but this will be fast.

So, last year, I touched on keeping to the code in men's bathrooms here. For the record, that post was also way before that Senator got arrested for doing something ELSE in the bathroom, but I digress. To continue the theme of male social awkwardness, I bring up the topic of a phone number exchange.

It's just really weird to ask another dude for his phone number.There might be a perfectly legitimate reason for it; getting together of UFC fight night, study sessions for our disorganized and heavily biased Vine Physiology class, playing some Racquetball, etc. But you can't just outright ask for the number. There has to be some kind of reasoning behind it.

So, here are some examples of how it might work:

"Hey, do I have your number?"

That would never work on a woman. They know exactly to whom and when they give their number out - you'd be shot down in a glorious blaze of smoke and shrapnel. But us, we're stupid enough or so scattered with our memories that, "Oh, crap, I thought I did." Well of course we thought we did; we can't remember what we had for lunch three days ago, let alone the details of a conversation that was last year?

"Alright, so I'll call you about the ___________. Let me get your number."

Obviously this scenario would imply some social familiarity with the guy. Maybe you were gonna help him out ... fixing his car or brewing some beer over the weekend. Maybe you were proximal friends - your spouse is friends with his girlfriend or something - and it's suggested that you hang out. Chances are you'll end up getting along fine, but again, the number thing is weird.

"Hey, let me get your number, we'll hang out."

This one's probably the worst. Obviously the guy who is asking is enthusiastic about grabbing a beer or something. But what about the other guy? He can't exactly say "No thanks man", because that would be brutally impolite (though I know a couple of guys who wouldn't care about the manners and would say it anyway). So then, he's stuck with a guy who has his number but he has no desire to socialize with.

And then it ends up like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry can't get rid of the guy, and after he attempts to "break up" with him, ends up getting guilt tripped out of his Knicks tickets.


And for the above reasons, Business Cards were invented...